Sunday, 15 November 2009

Horror at McDonalds Car Park

A slightly different Scenic Sunday post today. Yesterday, for reasons which can only be explained by ravenous hunger, I made the absurd decision to go to MacDonalds for a bite.
I know.....I know.......I should know better.
Upon arrival in the 'restaurant', I was greeted by a peculiar little thing which I believe is known as an 'adolescent'. I'm sure you've come across the species..... an odd conglomeration of spots and hormones. This asked me how he could help me.......?
Unfortunately this was the point when I had the alternative of merely pointing at a picture and indicating that I wanted one of those ...... or actually muttering out loud the words 'Can I have a Big Tasty please?'

Utterly humiliated I then took my seat and pretended I wasn't there. Difficult considering the surroundings. Burying my head in the Scotsman didn't help either. The racket made by assorted screaming brats discounted this possibility.

This was further enhanced by another 'adolescent' member of staff who took the executive decision to hand out balloons to the already severely psyched out mob of ankle biters.

I beat a hasty retreat to the car park and found the sanctuary of my car.
Sitting there ruminating upon the 'experience', I vaguely became aware of a guy acting a bit strangely at the passenger door of a 4x4.
I became more and more fascinated by his actions as time went on. He was wearing some kind of combat trousers with various pockets which he kept unzipping, pulling various items out, placing them on the passenger seat and replacing them in different pockets.
Not altogether weird at this point but a bit strange the longer it went on.
He then proceeded to weave his way over to a bin in the car park. This was the point when I realised that he was clearly not on this planet.
A similar rummaging through the pockets started at the bin, with various items being deposited in the bin and then.......retrieved!!!!!! And I mean he had his head in the bin.......!

At this point, I looked back at the car and noticed that there was someone in the driver's seat. I hadn't noticed him before because he was slumped almost double.......Sleeping, was the first thought which came to mind........Dead, was the almost instantaneous second.

So..... to summarise the situation up to now. I was witnessing this bizarre behaviour by the passenger of a vehicle who had just murdered the driver...... and clearly getting rid of the evidence.
Hmmmmm........ what do I do?
Documentary evidence I thought...... so I whipped out my camera and got out of my car.
The results as you can see speak for themselves.......
Taking the murderer's pic wasn't easy as he was constantly looking around shiftily..... as any murderer with fresh blood on his hands would!
So I'm clicking away, trying desperately to get a mugshot, when he becomes aware of me and........starts walking towards me........
Shit......I thought...... So I did what any good photo journalist would do in this situation and immediately pointed the camera up to the sky and feigned intense concentration as I waited for a tap on the shoulder.......
Fortunately my clever ruse worked and he lost interest and returned to his car.......phew! which point, the driver woke up, stretched and they drove off.........

My Mum always said my over active imagination would get me into trouble one day.....

For more less dumb Scenic Sunday posts click here


  1. You have the most bizarre adventures. I wouldn't have been bold enough to try to get photos of the weirdos.

    Big Tasty - tee hee.

  2. That's what comes of entering the insane world of McD's .....

    I hope you have learned your lesson.

  3. I think it's the salt that causes mild hallucinations! hehehe

  4. I keep returning and revisiting this post, Neil. So many layers of horror, it's truly scary.

    Head in the bin!!!

  5. What caught my attention was the parking notices - McDonalds only give you an hour even as a customer (well it is fast food after all) but of course you can't read the small print on the notice above which I imagine gives them the right to clamp you and charge you a ton to let you go - better not nap too long.

  6. First photo gave me an instant YES!
    If no-one got hurt, of cource.

    Nice to see you open up your horizons. I don't believe that I ever seen lingerie photography in your blog before. Those would be your wife and her sis? And your sons at the other one. :)

    Just wondering wtf they put on Big M's these days? If it makes people behave like that 4x4 guy. Quick thinking on the sky, mate. But what was you thinking when turned your back to suspect killer? A black belt (in martial arts of som sort)?

    What more can I say? Nice detecting and paparazzing. And thank You very much for the laught! I really needed it today.

    C u!

  7. Was that McDonalds spelt D I S T I L L A R Y? You really made me laugh Neil and I was worried for your safety towards the end.

  8. MY imagination is running riot and I've read this twice so I already know the ending!

  9. holy crap I SO don't want a cheeseburger anymore

  10. Interesting that your reaction was to take photos rather than call 999!